


chewing gum

by scandibaby



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Restaurant, Ben Solo is Not Nice, Dark fic, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Discussion of Abortion, Drugged Sex, F/M, Facial, Implied/Referenced Childhood Neglect, Mention of pregnancy, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Oral Sex, POV First Person, POV Rey (Star Wars), Possessive Behavior, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rey might have anger issues, Rough Oral Sex, Unsafe Sex, Workplace Friendships, call me JJ Abrams, character development who is she?, everyone hates ben, workplace bullying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:48:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26508496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scandibaby/pseuds/scandibaby
Summary: Everyone picks on Ben at the restaurant they work at, but Rey strikes up a close friendship with the awkward hot-head.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 55
Kudos: 152





	1. xylitol

Someone is swearing up a storm in the kitchen when I come in to deposit dirty plates in the washroom. I avoid whatever shit’s about to hit the fan, and turn left to the washer part of the kitchen.

“What’s going on?” I ask as Finn turns to take the plates out of my hands. I’m supposed to at least sort them onto the rack, but Finn never lets me. I think he’s being nice because I’m new.

“Solo probably set fire to another towel or something.” He says and I giggle. Finn only shakes his head, as fed up with Solo as everyone seems to be. I feel kind of bad for him, everyone always talks shit about him behind his back but he kind of deserves it. He’s got a short temper and abrasive personality but he hasn’t done anything to me yet so I try to be nice.

Finn sprays down the rack of dishes before sliding it over to the industrial dish washer. Conversation over, apparently.

I sneak out to peak into the kitchen since business has slowed down at this point in the evening, and see Poe and Hux leaning on a bench watching Solo trying to reach something behind the grill. It’s evidently too heavy to move so someone pulled out the shelf of plates next to it.

“You fucking bozo, Solo.” Hux sneers, crossing his arms and staring at the comical image of his 6”3 coworker crammed between the grill and the shelf.

“ _Fucking_ \- piece of shit ladle! Can you two help instead of just standing there?” Solo says and turns his head to address the two, his angry face lighting up when he sees me.

“Rey, can you come over here and help me?” He asks and I huff a laugh before walking over there without further hesitation. Always helpful, eager to please. Usual qualities found in people who suffered childhood neglect.

“Don’t help him, Rey.” Poe says and I give him a cheeky grin to brush it off. They’re being unnecessarily mean if you think about it. They could just help him out.

“Did you drop something back there?” I ask as Solo rises to his full height, towering above me and steps out of the nook so I can get in.

“Yeah, a ladle – my hands are too big to fit behind the grill.” He explains as I squat down on and peer in. My hand and arm easily fit in the small space between the wall and the grill, but the ladle is stuck behind the power outlet in the wall. I wiggle it around a bit and get it out in less than thirty seconds.

“Wow Solo, you were going at it for like 10 minutes.” Hux comments in his haughty voice as I had the ladle back to Solo, rubbing off some of the dirt and sauce I got on me on my apron.

“See - big muscles do have draw backs.” Poe adds, swatting his shoulder before walking away to get another order ready. I watch Solo’s eyes narrow as he follows Poe with his gaze and I twitch when he looks back at me, realizing how close we’re standing.

“Thanks Rey.” He says, in the most earnest tone I’ve heard from him so far and it makes me kind of sad.

+++

The next night is a Saturday, and as usual – a shit show. I’m stressing to get three checks printed, praying the bell won’t ring and I can wrap up the tables before I have to drop everything to deliver more food. My hands are shaking as I triple check the screen to make sure I get the right table when someone taps me on the shoulder.

“Table for two please.” A man in his thirties tells me and I blink up at him in response.

“Do you have a reservation?” I ask stealing glances at the screen, trying to print out the bills at the same time.

“Nope. Can we get a seat by the window?” He asks as if the restaurant isn’t slammed.

“Sorry, we’re full at the moment so if you don’t have reservations the wait for a table is about 20 minutes.” I say and the guy rolls his eyes at me.

“I told you so…” His girlfriend or whatever whispers to him, and I gather up the checks to clear the tables. They’re all reserved for 10 minutes from now so they need to _go_.

“You’re welcome to wait at the bar.” I say and force a smile, quickly walking away to go charge the tables. I manage to get one table cleared before the bell rings, throwing a quick look over at Bazine to see if she’s going for it. She’s got her back turned to me, arm slung over the back of a chair a middle age man is sitting in, flirting to earn her tips.

She’s such a fucking bitch. I politely tell my table I’ll come back and weave through the sitting area to get to the hatch, barely stopping to pick up the plates.

“Table six, one gnocchi and one pappardelle al pesto with no pesto.” Poe calls before sighing. I turn and almost walk into Bazine, who laughs at me.

“It’s my table, I’ll take it.” She says and I resist the sudden impulse to throw the food in her face. So fucking slow.

I cross the restaurant to finish my tables, the guy from before snapping at me to get my attention. God, I hate people who do that. I lift my index finger up and shoot him an apologetic smile to indicate I’ll be there in one minute.

I manage to clear all three tables in short succession, trying to hide how shrill my voice is from stress by speaking in short sentences. The bell rings again as I’m clearing the last table and I haul ass to get the dishes into the wash before getting the food. As I walk past the bar the guy snaps at me _again_ , throwing me a dirty look and mouthing ‘what the fuck?’ to his girlfriend.

I quickly drop off table 18’s order with the help of Mitaka, and take a deep breath before coming up to the guy at the bar.

“How can I help you?” I say so fast it comes out all jumbled.

“How’s our table looking?”

“Sir it’s going to be…”I lean back to look at the time on the cash register. They’ve literally been here for five minutes. “At least another 15 minutes.” I say and he groans like a frustrated kid. Is this guy three or thirty? His girlfriend avoids eye contact when I look at her, but a newly arrived party luckily pulls me away.

I bring the new guests to their reserved table and hand them menus. They already know what they want to drink so I take their order and go back to the bar to have the bartender pour it up for me. The guy is audibly talking shit about the restaurant.

A series of rings keeps me occupied since Bazine isn’t doing shit to help; I get out seven dishes to two tables in the same time she takes out two plates. The bartender is finished with my order when I come back, and I take the tables food orders when I’m done serving them their drinks. I put the order in for their table as Solo plates up four new dishes that I wait for, hoping the couple at the bar will just leave.

Of course they don’t. I drag ass cleaning a table for two that opens up and hope that they’re gone by the time I go back to the bar, but I’m met by the sullen face of the guy.

“I have a table ready for you two.” I say in my costumer service voice and the guy rolls his eyes at me.

I glance at the time again as I snatch up two menus. It’s been under 20 minutes since they came here. What an asshole.

“Do you guys know what you want to drink?” I ask, the bell ringing again and stressing me. Bazine’s standing two tables down from the hatch, hopefully she can take it.

“We’ll have a bottle of Chardonnay.” The man says without looking up.

“Sorry, we’re out of Chardonnay-“I start, ready to suggest an option but he interrupts me.

“How can you be out of Chardonnay? What kind of restaurant runs out of Chardonnay; it’s the most popular wine in America.” He snaps at me as if I just slashed his tires or something. I glance over to Bazine who is yet again ignoring the hot food and try to figure out a way to wrap this up.

“We’re an Italian restaurant sir, so we mainly serve Italian wines.” I inform him and snap my notepad close. He starts talking but I’m already backing away.

“How about I give you guys a few minutes to go over the wine list, I’ll be right back.” I tell them and quickly move away.

“Jesus Christ, the service at this place…” He says before I’m out of earshot.

“How many times do I have to tell you; when the bell rings come here directly, I’m not serving cold food.” Poe yells at me when I come to get the food.

“Maybe you can tell Bazine the same.” I hiss back, not in the mood to be lectured when he knows I’ve been serving the majority of the guests tonight.

“What did I do?” Bazine’s dumbstruck voice says behind me, bringing the irritation building in the pit of my stomach to a flaming anger.

“Move.” I snap at her. I would have dung my elbow into her ribs as I passed her if it wouldn’t have spilled the food I'm holding. I serve the table, barely having time to utter a polite phrase before snapping is heard across the restaurant.

“ _Hello_?” A man calls and I already know who it is.

“Ready to order?” I ask, looking down into my notepad. I’m at my limit at this point and I don’t even want look at this guy's ugly face anymore.

“No, because you ran off before telling us the wine list. You have all this Italian shit I’ve never heard about; how am I suppose to know what’s good?” He says in a baffled voice. I bite my tongue so I won't combust due to the blood in my veins _boiling_. 

“Sorry, sir.” I say and start listing the wine menu from memory. He makes me go over the red wines too, despite picking a Verminto in the end.

“Oh and FYI – try and be more attentive with your paying guests next time, it might get you more tips.” He adds in mocking tone, and I smile so wide my cheeks hurt to keep from throttling him.

“Yes sir.” I answer. His girlfriend looks so embarrassed, as she should. I avoid the table as much as I can, and the mass of people starts to thin out. I take their food order, medium rare steak and tagliatelle. I tend to the other tables in the meantime and some of the anger sinks away. I serve them their food and barely have time to step away before he snaps me back.

“Take this back.” He says and pushes the plate away from him.”I asked for medium rare, this is well done.” He hasn’t even taken a bite, and from the cut through the middle of it even I can tell it’s medium rare.

“Absolutely, sir.” I manage to get out with out gritting my teeth, face dropping into a scowl as soon as I turn my back to them.

“What’s wrong?” Solo’s in the hatch when I come back.

“He says he wanted medium rare and this is well done.” He comes over to study the steak, picking it up and bending up the cut.

“Is he mentally impaired?” Solo asks and I snort a laugh at the befuddled look on his face. I lean in over the metal counter in the wall, lowering my voice to a whisper.

“He just wants to fuck with me; he’s been a complete dick since the moment he came in.” I explain as Solo leans in to listen. He frowns and takes the plate down into his side of the hatch.

“I’ll remake it, but don’t take shit from an idiot like that.” He says and a genuine smile forms on my face for the first time since I started my shift. Then he winks at me, and I’m so taken aback with the cheesy gesture I get flustered.

“Give me five minutes.” He says and straightens, leaving me in the hatch.

At 10:30 most of the guests have left, or are leaving. The douche and his girl tipped me ten dollars on a 120-dollar food bill. Being a resident of New York City, they might as well have tipped me nothing. It’s just me and the bartender out in the restaurant, the rest of the staff is having a late night snack in the kitchen like we always do after service.

I offered to hang back to keep an eye on the remaining guests - I usually hate it since you miss out on all the fun banter but I don’t feel like hanging around Bazine right now. I more feel like shoving my foot up her ass.

When I’ve wiped down and reset the tables I amble over to the bar.

“You can go have dinner, I’ll come get you if I need you.” Maz says and I reluctantly obey. I go in though the back of the bar, which leads directly into the dishes and drag my feet over to the the kitchen where my coworkers have pulled up various objects as make-shift chairs. Finn and Hux are each straddling a rectangular garbage can, Poe is on his climbing stool and Bazine and Solo are leaning on the counter.

“Hey, did the fucker leave yet?” Solo calls when I come in.

“Yes, thank god.” I sigh, turning to the trays of food put out for us. Poe made souvlaki and roasted potatoes tonight, yum.

“What fucker?” Finn asks and stuffs a tzatziki dipped potato in his face.

“She had this fucking clown send back this perfect, most clear cut medium rare steak I’ve ever seen in my life saying it was medium.” Solo answers for me, and I lean on the counter opposite them with my plate in my hand.

“Threw a hissy fit because the Chardonnay was out too, such a fucking asshole.” I add, taking a bite and noticing how fucking hungry I am.

“How much did he tip?” Poe asks and both him and Hux winces when I tell them.

“Speaking of – I should count my tips!” Bazine chirps and I don’t even hide my eye roll. She gets out a wad of cash and I focus on finishing my food. By the time I’m done I feel full and sleepy, the soles of my feet aching. Not done yet though. Solo straightens to start the kitchen cleaning processes, pulling out that infinite pack of gum he always has on him, and I go up to him to see if I can get one.

“Can I have one? I don’t want the guests to smell my garlic breath.” I say, covering my mouth so _he_ won’t smell my garlic breath. With an uninterested gaze he hands me the packet, and Finn freaks out.

“What the hell, I ask you everyday for gum but you always say no you stingy bastard!” Finn shouts and gets up so fast to grab the packet he knocks the bin over.

“If the guests can smell your breath from in here you should go see a doctor, chode" Solo says and puts the packet back in his pocket when I hand it to him.

"And you’re the stingy one for trying to mooch off me - buy your own fucking gum!” Solo yells and Finn tries to get his hand in Solo's pocket. He catches Finn's wrist in his big paw, and they start play-fighting. 

I leave quietly, not in the mood to witness another stupid fight.


	2. sorbitol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my other WIPs and uni work looking at me like 👁️👄👁️

The next day the restaurant is equally packed, but thankfully Rose works with me and Bazine. We’re sitting outside, Rose taking a drag from her cigarette as I finish my lunch.

“She didn’t help at all, she was practically on her hands and knees sucking him off while the food was right there!” I tell Rose in a hushed voice so Bazine won’t overhear if she walks by. “Like she’s such a fucking bitch.” I whisper-yell.

Rose takes a drag. “She is.”

“Hey.” A dark voice rumbles above us, blocking out the sun.

“Hi.” I say but Rose greet Solo with: “You’re blocking the sun, Bigfoot.”

I wish Rose would be nicer to Solo, he did me a favor with that steak. Rose has worked here longer than me, so maybe she has her reasons. I haven’t really see any reason for why every one is on the Solo hate-train except for the fact that he can be a dick sometimes, but I mean so can Poe and Hux. Not to mention Bazine.

“You got a light?” He says and moves to stand in front of us instead. I watch him light his cigarette, waiting for Rose to speak but his appearance kind of killed the conversation.

“Do you have gum?” I ask, just to say something and Solo wordlessly hands me the packet from his front pocket. I wait for Rose to ask, but she puts out her cigarette and gets up.

“I’ll head inside.” She says, only looking at me.

“Okay.” Weirdo. She didn’t need to leave.

Solo takes her spot on the crate next to me and we sit in silence for a bit as I try to find a topic of conversation.

“What’s your first name anyway?” Is all I come up with. He turns his head slowly, staring at me, the corner of his mouth slightly turned up.

“Really? You worked here for a month and you don’t know my name?” He says and I feel my face heat up in shame.

“Well, everyone just calls you Solo!” I defend, and he chuckles at my flushed face. He raises the cigarette to his lips, pausing before taking a drag.

“It’s Ben.” He says.

+++

After that day, Ben gives me gum every time we share a meal together at work. It gets to the point where I don’t even have to ask anymore, he just gives it to me after he takes one.

The first thing I noticed about him was that he was always chewing gum; his sloping jaw continuously working, the muscles in his cheek tensing and relaxing over and over.

Or well, the first thing I noticed was probably his big nose – or his long hair. I like guys with long hair and Ben never lets it get dirty, always shiny and soft-looking.

I guess guys who work in restaurants have to be hygienic to a point – also good. His breath must be nice at least.

Over the weeks we get closer, I don’t know if it’s because I sort of pity him since he’s really not as bad as everyone paints him out to be. He does lose his temper a few times, but I mean we all do. Hux and Poe always provoke him, so it’s not unwarranted.

We’re closing together one day - Ben, Poe and me – and it been the best day at work so far. I come into the kitchen after finishing up with the seating area, and Ben starts spraying me with the hose.

“Ah! Stop!” I shriek and he laughs at me; that goofy, stuttering sound I found annoying in the beginning.

“Hey, knock it off guys. I want to go home today, please.” Poe says from the other side of the kitchen, pushing the water down the drain with a plastic scrape.

“It’s already tomorrow.” Ben flatly informs him, and Poe sighs. I grab another scrape to help, swatting it in Ben’s direction when he tries to spray me again.

“Ready to go?” Poe asks once we’re all outside, and I hurriedly pat down my pockets to check if I have anything.

“Yup!” I say when I’m finished and I tug out my ponytail, brushing my fingers through the knotted brown tresses.

“Alright, see you guys tomorrow.” Poe says and basically bolts. Ben and I share a look, something we’re been doing a lot lately, before bursting into laughter.

“Which way are you going?” He says after we calm down.

“Uh, taking the subway home – it’s just up the street.” I say and point it out. His brow furrows at my answer.

“This late?” He asks in a critical voice.

I’m not too excited about it either. Rose and Finn take the same subway so I’ve always had company at least part of the way. Tonight’s the first night I’m going alone and it’s a little…daunting. Could get mugged. Could get robbed. Could get something even worse.

“Yeah, I mean it’s fine right? It should be fine.” I say, not sure if I’m trying to convince myself or Ben. He doesn’t like that though and stops in his tracks to give me a sceptical look.

“Okay, come on.” He says and links his arm with mine.

“Where are we going?” I ask when he pulls me in the opposite direction.

“I’ll take you home.” He says, not taking no for an answer.

+++

“What so you’re like a _gamer_?” I tease him, bumping my shoulder to his. His face softens into an embarrassed smile and he looks away.

“Whatever.” He says in a slightly lower voice than usual, hard to hear over the late afternoon traffic rolling through the street 20 yards away.

I let out a snicker, grabbing his arms to make him look at me. His bicep twitches under my grip as he refuses to look at me – that shit is rock hard. “Hello? Mr. Gamer Man? Come on, just tell me what games you play!”

“No.” He tries to say firmly, but a bit of a bashful smile still plays on his ridiculously lush lips. I wish I had lips like his.

“Come _onnn_.” I try but he shakes his head.

“You wouldn’t even know it.” He says, leaning back against the brick wall, unfolding his long legs and shoving his hands down his pockets. So determined for me not to find out.

I wiggle my eyebrows at him trying to coax forth an answer, but he only laughs at my expression. I give up with a sigh, leaning back against the wall too.

“You underestimate me, Solo.” I say and lean my head on his shoulder. I’m tired.

“Oh yeah?” He spits out in that mocking tone of his and I smile at the wall across us.

“What if I told you I used to be quite the gamer myself?” I say, trying to intrigue him.

I only get a hum in response that rumbles though his chest up to my ear.

“I was an apex predator at Sims 2.” I deadpan and this time I feel his laugh vibrate through his chest. “You should see my save files. And oof, the families I made. So much drama.” He laughs so hard his shoulders shake and I sit back up, grinning at him.

“I don’t think you can be an apex predator in Sims 2.” He says with a lopsided smirk that makes him look almost charming.

“No, but you can in Apex Legends! See, I do know things!” I counter, and tug on his arm some more.

“Where is – Rey, they need you up front.” Poe appears in the doorway and that’s the end of work time fun.

+++

“Are your roommates home?” Ben asks as I lean over to grab my bag from the back.

He's been driving me home more often than not. I felt bad when I went home together with Finn yesterday, I could tell it pissed him off. He's such a baby sometimes. He was back to his normal self today though, and I gladly accepted when he asked if I was going with him. 

“Uh, yeah Eric should be home.” I say and sigh as I sit back down in the passenger seat. “What?” I ask when I see the sour look on his face.

“I thought your roommate was a girl.” He says, a hard expression in his eyes.

“Well yeah, Laura is. I have two roommates.” I say and glance at his hand on the steering wheel. His knuckles are turning white. Why is he being so weird right now?

His hard gaze falters as his face softens and I untense my shoulders. “Oh, is he gay or something?”

“No.” I laugh, stopping when I look back up at Ben and see his jaw muscles twitch at how hard he’s clenching his teeth. “What?” I say, in a more timid tone than I meant to say it in. Why is he mad?

He breaks eye contact finally, exhaling hard though his nose. “I just don’t think it sounds safe.” He tells me in a tight voice.

“He’s normal! It’s fine.” I say in an exaggerated voice, expecting him to laugh but Ben is not amused. I try to get him to look at me, but he only stares out the windshield, pressing his tongue to his cheek.

“It’s just – I wouldn’t want _my_ daughter to move in with a strange man.” He says and I roll my eyes. We live in New York, everyone has to live with strangers unless you’re super rich. I, evidently, am not otherwise I wouldn’t slave away full-time as a waitress.

“Well, go ahead and tell her that when you have her.” I say, not caring that it’s a little snippy. Who is he to comment on my living situation? He’s just a dude from work.

He doesn’t answer so I open the door. “Whatever, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I tell him and get out. I bend down before I shut the door. “Thanks for the ride!” I say in a more light-hearted tone, but he’s still annoyed and only grunts at me.

“Nut case.” I mumble to myself after shutting the door.


	3. aspartame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short n sweet(?)

“Hey, it’s my friend’s birthday party on Friday, do you want to come?” Ben asks me out of nowhere halfway through the shift.

We haven’t seen each other that much this week so I take the opportunity to tease him.

“Oh, a LAN party?” I ask and throw him a sarcastic grin as I click around on the register.

“ _Nooo_ ,” He says like an insolent child, and that boyish expression he has sometimes comes over his face. He looks so cute. “A normal party. Do you want to come?” He repeats, apparently eager.

“I can’t, I’m working Friday.” I say and pout at him.

Ben is nice and all, and we had a good time together when we went out after work with the whole gang but I’m not sure we’re at that stage in our friendship where we transition from work buddies to friends. I also kind of don’t want to hang out with his nerdy friends an entire evening.

“I thought you switched with Rose?” He says. Oh shit, I did. Did I tell him that?

“Did I?” I pull up our schedule. I really should pull up Rose's texts since Maz is pretty shit at updating the schedule when we switch shifts. This time she did it though; I’m off this entire weekend. “Oh, I did.”

He smiles so big his cheeks dimple. Can I really say no? All those times he drove me all the way home to Ridgewood when he lives in Long Island City. I don’t really have anything better to do. I can handle a couple of hours with a group of geeks, and Ben _is_ a nice guy after all.

“Okay, sure. Text me the address.”

+++

On Friday I spend a full hour and a half getting ready. I realize when I’m done with my make up I might have over-did it, it’s probably going to be me as the only female human there and a bunch of neckbeards. Ugh, why am I being so judgmental? Besides, Ben said it was a ‘normal’ party, whatever that means.

I don’t think my glittery brown eyeshadow is too wild for a normal party. I can’t decide what to wear either; I don’t want to wear full black because that’s the color of our uniform, but I think a dress is a bit too much for this.

In the end I do go with black; high waisted jeans and sheer blouse with puffy arms. Good thing I washed my lace bra, I always wear that one with the top – all my other ones look like shit.

I told Ben my train would arrive at 9:16 but I forgot to text him that I ran late. He’s kicking a lamppost when I come up from the subway, only wearing a shirt and dark jeans.

“Jesus, aren’t you cold?!” I say instead of hi. “Sorry, I should have texted.” I say and he pulls me into a hug. He’s cold, I feel bad.

“It’s fine, I run hot.” He says but the sniff at the end contradicts him. He leads me over to the building five minutes away as I try to pry what he did today out of him.

“What’s the party like? Like, what’s the vibe?” I ask as he holds the door open for me and I go in. He scoffs and presses the elevator button.

“You’ll see.” Is all he says and I pout. It usually works on him, but not tonight.

“Can you just tell me if I’m overdressed or not?” I ask as I fix my hair in the mirror of the elevator.

“You look pretty.” He says in a high pitch, shrugging his shoulders. Yeah, sure. I frown at him and he laughs again as the elevator doors open.

The party is exactly how I imagined it to be, except not. There’s like ten people all in all – no computers in sight but might as well be since that’s the only topic of conversation. There is surprisingly two other girls there – girlfriends of some of Ben’s friends, but even they can’t hold a conversation that doesn’t revolve around video games.

I even ask them if they play Sims and they look at me like I’m an alien. There’s one nice guy who seems to have a slightly higher set of social skills, but he’s on me like glue the entire time and I’m not interested.

Ben is over by the window chain-smoking while I try to talk to people, I want him to come rescue me but he doesn’t. After my third beer I’m over it.

I’m nodding with feigned interest at something the glue guy is saying when Ben finally comes over.

“How are you?” He says in my ear, pulling me to his chest by wrapping a thick arm around my waist.

“I’m a little tired actually, I might go soon.” I say apologetically to the glue guy and Ben lays his head on my shoulder to pull my move and pouts.

“Ah, that’s too bad, can’t you stay a little longer?” Glue guy asks, still hopeful despite the giant man enveloping me from behind.

“Yeah, stay a bit longer!” Ben says with a bit of a slur to his words and pulls my back closer to his chest. I laugh, a little bit uncomfortable by his sudden nearness.

“No, I have yoga and this brunch at 10 I have to get hammered at, so I should probably dip.” I say. Glue guy nods in understanding, and Ben laughs at the inside joke.

He called me a basic white girl once and when I refuted the fact he did it even more so I leaned into it. I started raving about leggings and asking him for pumpkin spice lattes. He even got me one this one time.

“It was so nice to meet you, though!” I add and pet Ben’s hair to make him let me go. Instead he tightens the grip around my torso, forcing me to bend over slightly - which presses my ass to his crotch.

“No, stay! Just one more drink, I haven’t talked to you all night.” He complains, and I laugh nervously trying to get out of his grip.

“Okay, okay!” I say, mostly just to get away from the suggestive position.

He disappears and I chat some more with the Glue guy, Ben returning with a red solo cup five minutes later. His eyes are dark as he watches me sip it, his pupils must be blown out from being drunk.

I start to feel woozy after about half the drink, and I have to sit down on the couch. I joke about my low tolerance with the Glue guys; the beers and the drink must be hitting me all at once.

Then I black out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i based this entire fic off of [Adam's scenes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQDrVBX0sME&ab_channel=AdamDriverOnline) in Not Waving But Downing, SUE ME!!


	4. acesulfame postassium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls mind the tags

I come back out of it standing in front of a door. A hand juts out to put the key in the lock and my knees fold. The hand retracts in super speed to catch me.

“Woah, watch it Bambi.” It’s Ben’s voice. Thank god, I was about to panic for a minute there. He switches grip and struggles with the lock for a bit as I try to figure out where we are. Did he take me all the way home?

The door swings open to not my apartment, and it takes me a minute to conclude we must be at Ben’s house.

“I…don’t feel…good.” I say, mouth so dry I can barely speak. I don’t think I’ve ever been this drunk before. My arms and legs feel like lead.

“I know, baby. You can sleep in a minute.” He says while lifting me into his apartment and I relax, barely noticing the new pet name. He’s just taking care of me; I’m going to sleep on his couch and wake up and feel better tomorrow.

My skin is itchy, so itchy but I can’t raise my hand to scratch it. I make a frustrated sound that comes out sounding like a whimper and he stops his fiddling with the door and puts down his keys to stroke my cheek

“Shh, shh.” He hushes me and presses a kiss into my hair, which I don’t realize is strange until it’s already over.

He tries to get me to walk further in, but gives up easily and picks me up bridal style when it becomes obvious that I can’t hold my own weight. My head lolls back and the room starts spinning so I squeeze my eyes shut.

I’m put on something solid but I can’t focus my eyes and a light somewhere swirls around the room. A hulking form comes into the room and I whimper as it comes over to the bed.

“It’s just me, shh.” Ben’s head comes into focus and I untense again before I notice he’s shirtless.

I feel something roll down my legs and realize he’s taking off my pants. I get nervous as my underwear follows when he tugs down my pants – baring the top of my pubis mound.

I make a gargled sound in the back of my throat as I try my hardest to lift my hand, managing to hook my thumb over the hem and moving them up half an inch before I lose all control of the extremity again.

“No need to be shy, Rey.” Ben says and chuckles, untucking my hand from where it’s caught. This is so embarrassing; I can’t believe I’m so drunk my coworker has to _undress_ me.

“Up we go.” He says and tugs on my arms, pulling me to a sitting position. I can’t even sit up on my own and I moan softly as I face-plant against his hairless chest. He steadies me with an arm around my back and pulls the blouse over my head, but before he lays me back down I feel pressure release around my ribs.

Did he…did he take my bra off too? I look down and blush when I see my breasts are bare. The next time I blink his hands are on me, kneading hard in a way that’s uncomfortable. It’s almost a juvenile, inexperienced prodding but the description doesn’t really fit. Selfish, more like. I make a disgruntled sound, wanting him to stop – but I can’t lift my arms to get him off.

“ _Fuck_ , even better than I imagined.” He rasps in a low voice, and I try to turn on my side. He easily stills my effort by pinching a nipple, pulling and rolling it until I moan in pain.

“I knew you wanted this, baby.” He sighs happily, moving over to the other one. “Been planning this since the day you walked in.” I barely hear what he says, but it makes my stomach knot.

His hands slide down my ribs, over my stomach – and when he reaches my panties to pull them out I let out a series of panicked whimpers.

“Shh, it’s just me.” He coos. He spreading my thighs once he gets them off and real fear kicks in. A surge of adrenaline lends me enough strength to kick out weakly and unstick my tongue from the roof of my mouth.

“Nuh-no.” I sob as he lays down between my legs. He looks up at my confused face for a second and then lowers his head to lick a stripe up my slit. I gasp in shock.

“See? You like it.” He grins back at me, using that mocking tone everyone hates. Another half-moan, half-sob escapes my lips as he laps at my clit, flicking it rapidly with the tip of his tongue.

I can’t remember why I was scared a minute ago, and lose myself to the pressure building up quickly in my abdomen. I close my eyes like I do when I masturbate home alone, whining loudly when Ben suddenly shoves his tongue in my hole. He licks in and out, teasing around the entrance and I feel disappointed when he pulls back.

We make eye contact when I look down to see why he stopped; he’s sucking in his middle finger in his mouth, wetting it. A shiver of arousal goes through me when I realize he’s going to put his finger inside of me.

Grinning, he slides it in slowly, and to my frustration much too easily. I whine as he starts dragging it in and out; it’s more a tease than relief and in my fucked-up state I just want to come.

Like he could read my mind, he puts his lips on my clit, sucking hard as he starts fucking me with his finger faster. Through the haze of the alcohol my body still reacts; muscles tensing but too weak to let me arch off the bed – voice too incoherent to make any proper sound. I manage another gasp as he pushes me over the edge and he hums like he's proud.

I almost fall asleep right away when he pulls out his finger, sate and happy. My eyes shoot back up when I feel something bigger than a finger prod my entrance.

“ _Mmph_ ”I say when I see Ben is on his knees between my thighs, rubbing his tip through my slick folds.

I’m frightened again when he aligns the tip with my entrance, not sure why - not sure why I’m here in the first place. I’m wet from coming just a minute ago and the head pops in when he pushes, but his cock catches uncomfortably a few centimeters inside of me.

I haven’t had sex in a while and Ben is _big_ , so it hurts. My vision blurs as he bottoms out in me, the bed creaking under me as he starts to draw back. His face comes down close to mine, eyes glittering obsidian as he watches my reaction to the experimental thrusts, jaw slack and breath hot on my face.

The awe-stricken look on his face makes me more distressed than the stinging sensation every time he shoves his dick in me, somehow.

The pain subsides, bleeding into to pleasure and my whimpers turn to soft moans.

“Fuck.” He pants, picking up the pace and leaning up a bit to watch my tits bounce with every hard thrust. “You’re so tight.” He tells me before he gives me a hard kiss, shoving his tongue down my throat.

He groans into my mouth, strokes beginning to get sloppy. A hand finds its way between us, thumb clumsily rolling over my clit.

“Too tight. Gonna come in this little pussy.” He says pressing down his thumb harder and harder, making me squeal as my muscles flutter around his length. I watch Ben’s face scrunch up when I come on his cock.

He buries his cock to the hilt and makes a pathetic moan when he comes directly after me.

There’s a distinctive pulsating inside me and he collapses on top of me, the weight of him restricting my breathing – almost in a comforting way.

I black out again.

+++

The sun wakes me up. I turn to escape it’s intruding rays, discovering I’m not alone in bed. The shock sends me wide-awake, and intensifies when I realize I’m completely naked under the blue covers. I don’t own blue covers. I’m not in my bed.

“What the…?” I say out loud, scrunching my eyes to look around the room. Oh no. I must have gone home with someone from the party, Jesus Christ – what did I do that for? Please tell me we used condoms.

With the wide shoulders and jet black hair of the man laying next to me, I can take a solid guess as to who it is, and I groan in shame. Why the fuck did I sleep with my coworker? This is so embarrassing, I have to quit now.

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it, but there was something about him that…wasn’t off-putting per se, but something that told me not to go there with him. Obviously my drunk self didn’t agree, and now sober-Rey has to clean her mess. Fantastic!

I lift the covers to see if Ben is naked too and then pull them over my head when I see that he is. Yup, defiantly fucked last night. Can’t remember it, but definitely happened. Great!

Ben turns on his back, a dark laugh sounding out in the room when he sees me hiding under the blanket.

“What are you doing?” He asks, voice husky with sleep that makes me wonder if he’s the type to go for round two in the morning. He’s got that goofy smile on his face when he pulls back the covers, and if I wasn’t blushing already I am now.

“Good morning.” He says and inches closer to me.

“Good morning.” I mutter, waiting for a wave of nausea to hit. I feel surprisingly fine for being black out drunk last night, a light headache contrary to the throbbing one I usually have after drinking that much. My stomach feels fine too, with no hint of nausea. I feel a bit drowsy though, almost like I’m tipsy – maybe I’m still drunk.

“Did you have a good time last night?” He asks, voice dropping an octave as his hand snakes its way across my waist, pulling me to him.

I get an urge to fling his arm off me and run away, but I’m frozen stiff where I’m laying pressed against him. “Because I…”He says and nips at my earlobe.

”Had a very…” He plants a soft kiss on my jaw.

“Very good time…” I gasp when he kisses my throat. I’m sensitive there.

”Last night.” He finishes, kissing me on the lips this time.

I feel his tongue swipe at my bottom lip and turn my face away to break the kiss. I probably have bad breath.

“Uhm…yeah.” I say and he grins at my flustered face. I can’t tell him I’m flustered because I can’t remember. That will defiantly not help the situation.

“No need to be shy now.” He laughs and it makes my stomach flip. “I think we’re passed that at this point.” He says and I feel his hand trailing southward on my stomach. My hips twitch a little in anticipation.

“Did you- did we use…uhm, protection?” I ask and Ben’s hand stops its slow crawl suddenly. I look up to see his smile fade, eyes darting around my face. He hesitates, mouth pressing into a thin line before he speaks.

“You said you were on the pill.” He says and I can see why he looked so alarmed at my question. The words feels like someone just dumped a bucket of ice water over my head.

I sit up quickly, trying to recall when and why the fuck I would say that when I am _not_ on the pill.

“F _uuu_ ck.” Ben groans, covering his face with one of his thick arms. I might cry.

“I’m- I’m not.” I say to the olive wall. “Why did I say that?” I ask myself more than him, but he makes another deep groan at the question. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I might be pregnant with my coworkers spawn – oh my god.

“We have to get Plan B.“ I say shaking my head no, no, no. How could I let this happen? I’m always careful, I never have unprotected sex. I’m never drinking again – fuck this.

“Fucking hell, Rey.” Ben sighs and gets out of bed stark naked and pulls on a pair of sweats. He won’t even look at me when he walks out of the room. It feels wrong. All of this feels wrong.

I stare at the wall trying to remember anything from last night, but it’s all a big black hole in my memory. The last thing I remember is sitting on the couch with Ben and Glue guy and then I wake up to this. I hear hurried steps come towards the room, and flinch when Ben storms in.

“Why the fuck did you let me come inside you if you weren’t on the pill?!” He shouts and I curl into a ball.

“I don’t know!” I yell instinctively, my emotions blurring together. “I don’t even remember saying it, why didn’t you wear a condom?!” I throw back at him. His nostrils flare and his mouth hangs open to yell back at me, but he gets control of himself and straightens, glaring at the wall behind me and crossing his arms over his bare chest.

I start sobbing. He exhales hard like he’s inconvenienced, but comes and sits beside me on the bed. When he puts his arms around me I lean into him and ugly-cry.

“It’s gonna be okay.” He promises.

Ben drives me back to Ridgewood, and even goes into the pharmacy by himself to get the pill. I’m wearing one of his t-shirts, he told me I couldn’t go shopping for Plan B in a see-through shirt. Too much of a cliché. I hoped he wouldn’t make me go in there by myself at least, and I was beyond relieved when he told me to stay in the car.

I try to console myself with the fact that I technically still never have gotten Plan B, but it doesn’t really matter if it’s Ben or me that’s making the awkward purchase. I’m the one that might be pregnant. I’m the one who’ll have to have the abortion.

I wipe away a tear from the corner of my eye and close the list of Plan B effectiveness and side effects, sinking down into the seat like a puddle. I’ve never wanted to be someone else as much as I do in this moment. I watch Ben come out of the pharmacy and walk over to his car in his tan baseball hat. Even he doesn’t want to be seen in this situation.

“50 fucking dollars for an abortion pill.” He says and throws the light cardboard box in my lap along with a bottle of water.

“It’s not an abortion pill.” I say coldly. It said so on the information sheet online, and anyone who’s taken 7th grade health class knows that. Did Ben even finish high school? I barely know anything about him.

He rolls his eyes and starts the car. The stereo blears out shitty rock that gives me a headache. I don’t what drunk-Rey saw in this guy. We don’t fit together outside of work _at all._

I pop the pill in my mouth and chug half the water bottle to wash it down. I send a prayer to whatever deity that out there to cut me some slack and please, please not be pregnant.


	5. lecitin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blöwjöb

I sit in my room for the rest of the weekend. Ben doesn’t even text me once, even though I can see he’s online on Facebook and he has my number. You should probably check up on the girl you might have gotten pregnant? And also, dick move to sleep with me then ignore me in the first place, especially since we have to see each other at work.

Jesus Christ, I have to see him at work after this. What if he tells our coworkers we slept together? I never heard him talk about anything sex related at work, and he’s not close to anyone at work except for me but he might just be stupid enough to let it slip and then I’ll never be able to look anyone in the eye. I should probably start looking for another job, even if he doesn’t say anything. It’s going to be awkward between us at best, even if he keeps it to himself.

Oh my god, why did I sleep with Ben?

He’s off on Monday when I come in, and it calms my nerves a bit. No one makes any crude joke or references to us so I guess he hasn’t told anyone. I wash the shirt he borrowed me and bring it in with 25 dollars on Tuesday. I should pay him back. It was my fault too.

We don’t speak much outside of work related stuff, but my heart rate spikes every time I go up to the hatch and listen to what table he tells me to bring the food to. I don’t know why I expect him to say something, and I don’t even know what I want to hear. Sorry I came in you? Sorry for blowing you off? Let’s go out?

I’m pretty down when business slows down enough that one of us has to go fix the mess in the washroom. Finn is off today, so it falls on either Rose or me to have all the dishes clean by closing. Rose did the bulk of it after lunch so it’s only fair if I do it now.

“I’ll go in the back, call if you need me.” I tell her and tie the rubbery apron on. She nods, gaze drifting to a customer who’s ready to pay and I go in to the kitchen. I hurry past the small hallway, Ben’s back turned to me while he finishes caramelizing a crème brûlée with a blowtorch.

I sigh. I should keep the fucking money and just give him the shirt back. Or I should burn it. No, that’s too dramatic. People sleep with each other all the time and handle the aftermath like adults. Rose has a fuck buddy, it’s completely normal. I don’t know why I’m being so weird about it.

“I need plates, Solo!” Hux shouts from the kitchen and a series of heavy, dragging steps come my way. I hurry to stack another round of dirty dishes to look busy, ceramic clinking as I slide the rack into the machine. I hear him picking up a pile of plates but still flinch when I turn around to see him staring at me.

“Scaredy cat.” He huffs and I avert my eyes. I don’t even have the energy to banter. “You need help? It’s pretty dead in there.” He says and jerks his head toward the kitchen, holding the stack of plates with just one hand. They look so small in his hands, despite taking up most of my forearms when I have to carry three at a time.

I shake my head and Ben frowns. “Suit yourself.” He scoffs and for some reason the indignant tone sends me into instant regret. I feel my pulse speed up and quickly take two steps to his disappearing form.

“Ben, wait!” It comes out whiny and panicky, desperate. I dig with a shaking hand in my back pocket and hold out the flimsy bills. “Here.” Ben’s frown deepens to a scowl and I have to force myself to keep holding out my arm and not crawling into a ball in the corner.

“What the fuck is that for?” He asks and I take another step toward him.

“For the…medicine.” I say, looking over his shoulder at the kitchen, not wanting anyone to overhead. Ben _tsk_ s and shakes his head, huffing out a breathless laugh.

“It’s on me.” He says with a smile that quite doesn’t reach his eyes. I look away again.

“I have your shirt.” I say, wringing my hands. “In my locker.” I add when he doesn’t answer.

“Okay?” He says and laughs to himself again. I cringe, waiting for the awful interaction to be over. Instead of walking away he asks: “Do you want to come over tonight?”

+++

I sit on the couch while Ben goes to the fridge for a beer.

“Want one?” He calls over his shoulder and holds up a brown bottle with nice art on the label. Probably some hipster IPA. I shake my head no.

He stomps over and plops down on the couch next to me, making me bounce closer to him. Ben sighs and puts his arm behind me, to rest it on the back, but to my surprise it snakes around me and his big hand comes to rest on my shoulder.

“Hux is really busting my balls, man.” Ben sighs. “I just wish he would shut the fuck up.” He continues and his voice changes to a more malicious tone that makes the squeezing hand on my shoulder seem menacing. I tense, and he must notice because he sighs again and seems to relax.

“Whatever, let’s not talk about work.” He says despite me not uttering a word since we entered his apartment. He flicks though a few channels and leaves it on some random movie we pretend to watch for a few minutes.

His hand continues to squeeze my shoulder, his thumb coming to rub on my clavicle. His embrace tightens and he drags me even closer, more fingers sliding to touch skin. His other hand comes up to grasp my jaw, lifting my face to meet his lips. When I kiss him back he groans, the wandering hand sliding into my shirt to squeeze my tit. The way he rolls my nipple between his fingers feels good so I lean into him, turning to face him.

Ben lifts me into his lap with a growl and a nervous laugh bubbles up in my chest. He kisses me harder, and I try not to think about how odd the sensation of his wet tongue against mine is by my throwing my arms around his neck. His hands slides down my sides and lands on my ass, groping so hard it urges me forward. He does it a couple of times more until I’m practically humping him and realize it’s probably on purpose.

It feels good too, but for some reason my mind spins off in a thousand different directions and I can’t seem to stay in the moment. Ben breaks the kiss and I wonder if it’s because he noticed I’m not into it and get embarrassed. Instead his hands slide forward to the sipper of my jeans and I almost fall off his lap when he tugs it down.

“No, I can’t.” I blurt out and Ben looks confused. “I’m on my period.”

“Oh.” He says and lets his hands drop to the side. I try to read his blank face, but he just looks like he mostly looks – slightly annoyed. “So you’re not pregnant?” He asks and reminds me yet again of my terrible decision that night.

“It might be the Plan B, so I’m going to Planned Parenthood next week to take a test.” And and STI-test, but I won’t tell him that.

“Maybe you should ask them about birth control too.” He says and I’m baffled.

“Why?” I breathe out, and Ben shrugs. A playful smile spreads across his face and his lifts his hand to pinch my nipple.

“Cause I don’t want to get you pregnant the next time we fuck.” He says and pulls me flush to his chest and begins kissing my neck.

“The next time?” I get out before my eyes roll back in pleasure as he sucks on the sensitive skin. That means he wants to see me again, right? That he likes me?

“Yeah. And the time after that, and the time after that…” He says and pulls back, dark eyes glittering in the dim room and watching me intently. Something starts blooming in my chest as he lets out a happy sigh, tracing the curve of my hip through my jeans.

“I want to fuck you so bad.” He whines and pouts his lips like a child. I giggle before apologizing again, toying with the idea of asking him if we can just do it in the shower but he speaks before I make up my mind. “I’m so hard.” He says and brings my hand over the bulge in his pants. I rub my palm over it lightly and watch Ben’s eyelids flutter shut.

“ _Fuuuck.”_ He swears as I rub a little harder and his reaction spurs me on unzip his pants. He lifts his hips when I tug at them, pushing his underwear down with them. I gasp when his dick springs forward, even bigger than I imagined and tinted purple at the bulbous tip.

“What?” He asks with a smug smile that wavers into an ‘o’ when I tracing the big vein that goes up the shaft.

“It’s big.” I whisper and he huffs a laugh.

“Don’t you know that already?” The words stun me. I should. This is the second time, not the first. And I can’t even remember. I tilt my head down to avoid looking at him, wrapping my hand around his girth, or well trying. No wonder I was so sore the day after.

I run my hand lightly over the smooth skin, wetting my thumb on the drop of precum and smearing it over his head. Ben shivers and his hands come up to grab at my arms.

“Can you suck it?” He asks in a rough voice and I now I’m the one hiding a smirk.

“I don’t know…” I say, unable to keep from smiling.

“Please.” He rasps and I giggle, eager to get on my knees. He widens his legs and I almost get hit in the face as I scoot closer to his heavy cock. I slide the tip of my tongue over the head before I take it into my mouth. He tastes salty and musky as I begin to suck, but not unpleasant. I fit more of him into my mouth and look up at him under my eyelashes; boys like that right? Ben seems to – he throws his head back when I go too far down and accidentally choke.

I bring my hand up to cover what I can’t fit in my mouth but he pulls my hand off and says: “Just use your mouth, baby.”

Typical, but whatever. I double down, my jaw is already starting to ache, and increase the speed I bob up and down his shaft with, causing more choking. He really seems to like that – moaning loudly and starting to give little thrusts and every time I go down. One particularly deep one triggers my gag reflex and I shift back, coughing and gasping.

“Sorry.” He whispers as he strokes his dick, not looking very sorry. I glare up at him but still lean forward to continue sucking him off. He lets me set the pace for one impatient minute, before his large hand comes down on the back of my head and starts urging me down on his cock as he thrusts.

I put up with him fucking my mouth for about three strokes before he makes me gag again and I try to pull back. The hand on the back of my head keeps me in place though and all I can do is try not to choke on my own spit.

“I’m so close - so close, Rey.” He says and moans obscenely loud as if to prove it to me. “Fuck, baby it’s so good – feels so good.” Despite the hard grip on head I manage to look up at him – his eyes are closed in bliss but the rest of his face is twisted in a pained expression – he must be close.

“Can I come on your face? I want to come on your pretty face, Rey – cover it in come.” He babbles but he won’t let me up to answer so I only make a gargled humming around his cock. Ben swears and pulls his dick out, expertly jerking it off right over my face as I try to catch my breath, drool dripping down my chin. I barely have time to recover before a jet of come hits me over the cheek and nose, closing my eyes before the next one hits one of them.

Ben erupts into a delayed moan, sounding more like an animal than a man with my eyes close. His panting breaths calm and I feel the last drop of cum land on my face, trying not to frown. Not really my favorite.

I crack an eye open, seeing Ben lean back into the couch and running his hand through his shiny hair.

“Fuck.” He laughs, offering me a discarded t-shirt from the floor to wipe my face with.


End file.
